Madrox Mischief: Spring Break!
by Gambit's Nightmare
Summary: Remy Lebeau brings Jamie home with him for Spring Break. Pranks and humor. Newly Completed!
1. Introduction

Disclaimer: I do not own Marvel.

If you comment on my work, I'll comment on yours and add you to my favorites.

**_This story is written from the point-of-view of Remy Lebeau, in the form of a letter._**

"Madrox Mischief!"

First of all, he's eight-years-old, four feet tall, and probably the smartest little devil I've ever met. Really, any man who was a mischievous kid knows the joy that accompanies certain types of pranks; with Jamie, it's all day, everyday. Everyone knows and counts on the growl. "JAAAAMIEEE!" Logan doesn't even seem to know what to do with the kid. On top of pulling more tricks than a whore on speed, the kid will duplicate himself as many times as is possible and walk all over the mansion and the grounds when Logan is looking for him.

When he came here, I immediately took to him. I suspect that he'll be one of my best friends when we are older. But for now, I tend to think of him as my little brother. My little brother who manages to stay in trouble at all times, a lot like yours truly. On Saturdays, Jamie clones himself, leaving the clone to sleep in his bed and we go out and cause mischief. It's an important tradition now; I feel like my week isn't complete unless Jamie and I blow up, burn, egg, or toilet paper something. We also explore abandoned buildings as he slowly picks up the basics of theft. Yeah, some of it is pretty immature, but it's fun, and frankly, I don't care about how mature my tricks actually are.

This story is about the Spring Break that I brought Jamie Madrox home to meet my family.

His parents were dead, so when everyone else was planning to go home that week, Jamie was going to be stuck at the mansion with Scott. Now, let's get one thing straight – I'd rather sacrifice any part of my body (yeah, even that) to avoid being trapped with Summers. I wouldn't doom my sworn brother to this fate, either, so I brought him home with me. By the time we got to the front door of my family's home in New Orleans, he was sound asleep in my arms.

**Now, ladies, listen up. ALL people look sweet and innocent when they're asleep, even Jamie and I.**

As the story progresses and I give you a day-by-day account, you'll laugh at the mischief we caused and pity my family. Let's face it; we all enjoy laughing at the plight of others.

Yours truly,

Remy Lebeau


	2. Day One, Why?

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If you comment on my work, I'll comment on yours and add you to my favorites.

**Day One**

We flew in on Friday night and went to bed fairly soon. Saturday morning came and my cousin Lapin came and woke us up. Rather, he tried to wake us up and succeeded only in the case of Jamie and only because Jamie is small enough to be carried around easily.

"C'mon muties! It's time t'get up!" Lapin yelled at us and I was slightly aware that Jamie had flipped him off from the tone of his voice.

"Dude, I hate mornings. Get out." Jamie's little voice clearly pissed off my cousin, who wasn't about to be defeated.

"At least I know why Remy like y'so much. Y'mean!" Lapin flipped the boy off in return, only to have Jamie duplicate himself repeatedly and point ten middle fingers in his direction.

Grimacing, Lapin said, "Dat be so damn weird. Y'clone yaself, and Remy blows shit up." He went over and picked the boy up, slinging him over his shoulder. "Lapin t'inks y'need t'get up. He also real bored." Jamie argued, clearly annoyed by Lapin's presence in my room, where we had been sleeping.

"Do you live here?" Jamie asked.

"Non."

"Then go home, and let me sleep, ya crazy coonass!" Lapin walked out and shut the door, then put the boy down.

"Now, where'd y'learn dat language, petite?" He asked, as Jamie walked to the bathroom and shut the door, yelling his reply through the door.

"In this thing called a book, ever heard of 'em?"

Hearing the last exchange, Papa laughed loudly and put a hand on Lapin's shoulder. "I t'ink y'met y'match."

Jamie opened the door and walked out. Six times. Laughing even harder, Papa added, "o'matches, dependin' on how y'look at it."

That's the last thing I remember until about three hours later. "Lapin is crazy!" Jamie said as he dove into the bed, waking me up. He pulled the covers over his head as Lapin raced up the stairs, calling him. My Papa followed him up as he yelled for Jamie and ran toward us like a madman.

I groaned and picked Jamie up, who was covered in mud. "Y'really dirty, Jamie."

"He's gonna kill me!" Jamie pleaded with me as Lapin grabbed him away. Jamie pulled something out of his pocket and shoved it right into Lapin's pants, making him scream like a woman as he dropped Jamie. Pulling his pants down, a snake fell to the floor.

"Jamie Madrox, 1. Lapin Coonass, 0." Jamie laughed and then duplicated himself, picking up the snake and throwing it back and forth to himself and eventually at Lapin, who tripped, his pants still at his ankles. Jamie grabbed the pants as he fell on his back and threw them out the window, then threw the snake back on him. "LAPIN! Put your pants on. I'm only eight!"

As Lapin stood up, he lunged after Jamie, who duplicated himself several times and ran in several directions. As Lapin chased after him in his boxers, the real Jamie poked his head out from under the sheets and gave me a high-five as Papa held his sides, laughing so hard he couldn't speak. Finally, he managed to ask a question between chuckles, "Couldya leave da petite here?"

I hugged Papa. "Pere, y'd be beggin' us t'come get him soon."

After lunch, Lapin eyed Jamie and came up with a brilliant idea. "Tante is out?" He asked, as I nodded. As he explained his idea, I knew it would get us into trouble. I really did. But it was just too good to resist. We set the prank up and then Lapin and I waited behind some bushes, trying our best to be silent as we waited for Tante to return.

She parked the car, got out, and walked under a tree as Jamie stood on a tree branch with an air horn. As it blared, she jumped as eight clones jumped out of the tree, at once. She screamed and very nearly jumped out of her skin, gaining her composure as the clones disappeared into Jamie, who was now stranded in the tree above a tremendously pissed off Tante. "LapinRemyYouDeadWhenICatchYa!" She screamed, rightly assuming it was our idea, but wrongly assuming Jamie was innocent.

Deciding against going in the house to face her wrath, we waited until she went to look for us inside and quickly grabbed Jamie and put him in Lapin's car, driving to a local park to decide what we'd do next. Of course, we saw a couple of pretty good looking girls who couldn't resist us. At least until Jamie got bored with watching us flirt.

"Daddy?" Lapin's eyes filled with horror as Jamie looked up at Lapin and tugged on his shirt. "Daddy, I'm tired, I wanna go home!"

"I ain't y'Daddy." Lapin growled at him.

"Momma says you are! Or you!" He said, pointing to me as he began to mock cry. The girls really couldn't have abandoned us any faster. Infuriated, we turned to Jamie, who laughed at us and went to go sit next to a pretty little girl about his age who was swinging. Seeking a little old-fashioned vengeance, Lapin and I laughed and walked over to Jamie and the girl.

"Remy," Lapin said, looking over at me, "isn't it 'bout time we got Jamie home?"

"Oui," I replied. "You Y'know how he is 'bout havin' little accidents." Jamie immediately blushed as Lapin walked behind him and grabbed the swing, making Jamie fly through the air, into my arms. "We just don' want y't'wet y'self."

I always find that it's easier to just carry him around because it's significantly easier than convincing him that he wants to go from one place to another. That day, we took him back to the car and went to a restaurant to feed him. Big mistake.

We settled into a table and the waitress came. Pretty girl, really. Not wanting our little devil to get any ideas, Lapin and I calmly ordered. She looked over at Jamie, who picked his nose (which I hadn't ever seen him do before), ate it, then told her this. "I'm not hungry. I've got all I need right here." He pointed to his nose and then slid under the booth, crawling out and walking around the restaurant asking guests where the bathroom is, holding himself.

The waitress, trying her best to cope with us, returned a few minutes later with our food. "Hi, sexy lady!" Jamie said. The woman turned around and glared at him. "I'm lucky because I have two dads. Isn't that cool?" I put my head down on the table as Lapin covered the boy's mouth with his hand.

"He's in foster care. Crack baby…" She nodded in understanding as we finished eating and took him home, where Tante met and scolded Lapin and I for nearly an hour, during which our little friend was nowhere to be seen. After she finally let us go, we hurriedly found him, sound asleep, apparently tired from the evening. Lapin and I went out together and got dead drunk, passing out in the floor of my bedroom in the wee hours of the morning.

Man, that was a mistake.


	3. Day Two, Three's Company

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**Day Two – Sunday**

Lapin woke up before I did and nudged me with his foot as he stood up. "Dat little shit…" I looked over at Lapin, whose face was covered in pimples. Something coated his entire face. Touching my face, I smelled the slime: bacon grease. Looking in the mirror, I realized I also had quite a few pimples. We said nothing as we washed the grease off, applying treatment to the pimples before Lapin went to church.

Since my young friend was nowhere in sight, I decided to "relax" on my own for awhile to unwind, only to find that someone had replaced the lubricant next to my bed with icy hot. After screaming and suffering for a few minutes, I ran down the stairs after Jamie and found him sitting on the couch with my older brother and my father. Suddenly, it all made sense. He was only eight, and an eight-year-old wouldn't have understood fully what the purpose of switching the lube would be.

Deciding against killing him, I instead went in the kitchen, fixed myself some breakfast, and took the boy out to play in the swamps for the day. Really, I just wanted to isolate him from the others so that sweet vengeance could be planned, but there is something fun about romping through the mud. Instead, he nudged me as we made it outside and pulled something out of his backpack – a plastic container with bacon grease. After a few minutes, Henri's windshield wiper fluid had been replaced with bacon grease as my little friend and I smiled smugly at one another.

After a couple of hours of romping in the mud, I found myself wrestling several Jamie's as I sunk slowly into the muck. Standing to my feet with three of them holding on, I looked over at him. "Lapin, you, and Remy gonna have fun tonight!" We went back to the house and changed, then stopped by a drugstore on the way to Lapin's house, buying a box of plastic forks and several boxes of condoms. "These are…special gloves." I told him, not wanting to explain.

"I'm eight, not mentally retarded." He replied, apparently aware of their true use. "Plus, we live with a lot of older kids." I nodded as we arrived and met with Lapin, who was still covered in pimples and still sulking. Duplicating himself in anticipation of the chase, Jaime ran in six different directions as several clones were thrown into the pool. After a few minutes, Lapin calmed down and listened intently, grinning at us as he understood.

Duplicating himself again, we quickly unrolled the condoms over the forks and threw them into a box, then drove to Henri's house. Lapin and I watched while 10 Jamie's quickly stabbed them all into Henri's lawn in the shape of the words "Fuck You." We were laughing so hard we didn't even hear Henri pull up behind us and get out. "Jamie!" I yelled and grabbed one of his clones, intentionally throwing Henri off as Lapin and I ran in opposite directions. Jamie walked over and pulled his car keys out of the ignition, running to the back of the house we I was being chased and tossing them into Henri's pool.

"Grease, condoms?" He growled at us as we looked up at him from the water he threw us all into a few minutes afterward. "Y'all fucken crazy." Jamie grinned and dove under the water, coming up and splashing me.

"Why y'grinnin?" Lapin asked him.

"'Cause I put his car in neutral before I took the keys out." He smiled mischievously at us as we got out of the pool and made it back to Lapin's car. As we ran past my brother, I quickly gave his bumper a shove down the hill and got into Lapin's car as Henri's slowly rolled down the hill into another car.

"Henri gonna kill us." Lapin said when he stopped laughing. "It be wort' it!" He high-fived Jamie. "Hey, Jamie, wanna have some real fun?" I frowned at my cousin, who whispered into Jamie's ear for a minute. Jamie smiled and nodded.

Three hours later, the three of us entered an opera house, dressed incredibly nice. We settled into the balcony, then I nodded at Lapin, who walked to the edge, faked a gag, and tossed warm pea soup over the edge, causing all sorts of mayhem, during which Lapin and I stole the purses of several beautiful women and grabbed Jamie, walking out and laughing.

Fearing the impending vengeance from Henri, we drove to the edge of the swamp and got out of the car. Lapin got a blanket out and put it down as the three of is laid down, laughing at our day.

"Lapin missed y'Remy." He turned his head and smirked. "Wit'out Remy, Lapin gets into trouble all by hisself."

That night was really more fun than I'd had in so fucking long. We all fell asleep there, under the stars, after hours of talking about past adventures and future plans.


	4. Day Three, Girrrrls and Jello

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**Day Three – Monday**

Lapin nodded at my as I boosted Jamie into the tree and we sneaked into my room from the second floor.

Slyly walking down the stairs, Papa caught me and called me into his office. I tried my best to play innocent, but there's only so much I can do. Once again, I found myself being yelled at. "Y' gonna stay outta trouble?" Papa asked.

"Non." I said, smirking. We both knew I'd be in trouble again. I don't think I've gone a week without being in trouble in my entire life, much less when I'm around Lapin. But, this particular day, Papa wanted to take off work and spend the day with me, leaving Lapin and Jamie together. "Dat a bad idea, Papa."

"Why?"

"'Cause if dere's a group where Remy da voice o'reason, somet'ing very wrong." Laughing with my Papa, he insisted that they'd be alright, and who was I to argue? I mean, I didn't know that they'd very nearly drive my Tante insane.

After several fairly boring guild meetings, my cell phone rang. Since I was in the car with Papa, I answered it to hear Lapin's panicked plea: "Remy, y'frere gonna kill us!" Apparently, my older brother wasn't really that happy Jamie and Lapin reversed all the locks in his house, or for the bacon grease, the car dent, the message on his lawn…but nothing at all compared to the fury for what they'd done that morning – stolen his keys, wallet, and cell, and sealed them in bags, trying the bags to the drain of his pool, which had been filled with buckets of ice and hundreds of boxes of blue jello.

Papa seemed pretty pissed off with his own phone call and turned around, taking me back toward the house. "Dat boy worse dan bot' of ya." He said. "Are all y'mutants dis bad?" I shrugged and nodded, not really wanting to explain that it wasn't actually true. When we got home, we walked in and found both boys in the kitchen, skin dyed blue, tied to chairs by Tante.

"Tante had 'nough o'dese devils!" She said, slapping Lapin hard on the back of the head.

"Owww! Ain' Lapin's fault. Dat boy put Lapin up t'it!" Lapin plead with the adults, completely and totally missing the mark as they glared at him in disbelief. I knew better, the prank had "Jamie Madrox" written all over it, but with all the stunts Lapin and I pulled in our youth, I honestly don't think they will ever believe anyone else put us up to mischief. Plus, we had a minor incident with jello when we were about Jamie's age.

_Flashback_

"_Lapin!" I ducked easily through the branches of the swamp as we ran to the house of Belladonna, trying to find my accomplice as we had separated while running from my older brother. We promised we'd be good when his date was at the house. For the record, we never said anything about "before" and "after," those magical times during which all pranks come together. That morning, we filled the toilet of the powder room with fruit cocktail and red jello. _

_We finished dinner, apparently impressing Henri and Papa with our good behavior. Henri and the girl went into the living room to watch television and we didn't hear or see them for awhile. Until a scream echoed through the house as she stumbled out of the bathroom, looking ill. _

I laughed at the thought as I looked at my friends. "Bonjour, Monsignors Smurf" I said, then pointed to Jamie, "and Smurfette."

Papa came in from outside and looked at Jamie. "Papa's got a switch wit' y'name on it."

Jamie indignantly looked up at him, "A switch? Is that a redneck word for some sort of weapon?" I looked down and realized that Papa was threatening a clone while the real Jamie was doing God knows what. Well, we knew a few minutes later.

Papa went to the back door and took his shoes off the put on the boots he wore in the muddy back yard. His foot slipped in and was met with a _SQUISH_. We all froze as Lapin and Jamie burst out laughing.

"Remy, get us out of here!" Jamie looked up at he as a I charged their ropes and grabbed Lapin, meeting the real Jamie in the front yard as something was screamed from the inside. I couldn't quite make out what it was, but it sounded a lot like someone yelling 'cottage cheese and chicken fat.'

We hid in Lapin's room for most of the day. Lapin and I went through the purses we'd stolen while Jamie commented on occasion, never looking up from Lapin's old comic books. "You guys are old. These are collectibles now." We ignored him as we opened the first purse.

"Fendi, small, belongs to a Amanda Haverty." Lapin showed me a driver's license photo of the beauty as he dumped the contents of the purse out. Some makeup, a little cash, and…panties? "I like this one. What else we got?" Lapin said, looking at me.

"Elizabeth Braddock, 17, gorgeous." I looked down at her license and then looked through the rest of her things. "What da hell?" I looked down and saw a long knife, some mace, a short chain, and a bottle of painkillers. And, of course, a tube of expensive pink lipstick. "Dis one prolly be a handful." I said as Lapin went on to the next one.

"Lorna Dane…green hair, but belle." Dumping out her purse, he realized that she too carried several weapons.

Jamie looked over at us. "First of all, this is a sick way to get dates. Second, you picked the craziest looking women, who also turned out to be dangerous." He picked up the knife. "Remy, the X-Girls don't even carry stuff like this."

Lapin looked over at him. "How'd y'know, petite?"

"Because I'm a little boy and free to go through their things as I please." Jamie smiled and went back to the comic. "Also, I can tell the difference between 'pretty and sweet' and 'probably going to kill me'."

"Oui? Maybe we see how good Jamie is, non?" Lapin and I looked at each other and then went to get ready for a night out on the town. Of course, by the time night came, Jamie was exhausted, so Lapin carried him around as he looked out at Bourbon street with wonder.

"How 'bout dat one?" I said, pointing to a woman standing on the sidewalk. Jamie said one word.

"Whore." He pointed to a shy looking girl. "Nice girls have panty lines."

"Dat one?"

"Looks mean."

"What 'bout dat femme?" I asked, pointing out the most honest looking girl out there.

"Tease."

Lapin choked while laughing, then directed Jamie's attention to another woman. "Too old." Jamie said. "You guys suck. Put me down." He grabbed us and dragged us through the crowd, stopping near two pretty girls standing and talking to each other. "Hi." He said to them. "My brothers are stupid and confused 'nice' and 'erotic' during puberty. They need to find nice, pretty girls. Wanna go out with us?" Before we could apologize, or run, the girls giggled.

"Your brother is soooo cute!" One of them said, rubbing his hair. "Of course we'll go out with you. This is my sister Angela, and I'm Cecilia." Man, was he right. The girls were smart, charming, and really very pretty. We had dinner with them and then we took them out for a walk in the park, finally walking them home. Lapin and I each kissed one of the girls on the cheek. But Jamie, that little pimp, played it innocent and kissed them both on the lips, pretending to be cute.

As the door closed, he smirked. "Remy, if you had big blue eyes like me, you'd be unstoppable." He yawned and started to lean on me.

"C'mere, y'little perve," I said as I picked him up. He was sound asleep by the time we got back to the car. When we finally got back home, Henri was sitting on the porch, which made us peel out and speed off toward Lapin's house, and were chased, right up a tree into an old tree house we'd creatively named "Fort Remy and Lapin" years before.


	5. Day Four, Kissin' da femmes!

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**Day Four – Tuesday**

_ACHOOO!_

I woke up as Jamie sneezed and littered the floor with copies of himself. I got up and shook Lapin and we looked down at our little friend, who looked feverish and was still sleeping, curled up in a little ball, shivering. We put our coats over him and tucked them around him as I touched his forehead, which was really warm and sweaty.

"Tante ain' gonna like dis." Lapin said as I nodded in agreement. "T'ink dat he'll lie 'bout what we done las' night?"

I smiled and laughed. "Jamie'd lie jus' for da fun of it, Lapin." It was true; I'd seen him lie so many times, blinking those big blue eyes. Most of the time, he'd lie just to see how far he could go and still get away with it. On more than one occasion, I stayed out all night, expecting Logan's wrath, only to learn Jamie had covered for me.

"Bon, maybe Tante jus' beat us and not kill us den." Lapin looked out the door. "Merde! Remy, we in trouble!" I looked down to see Henri, who was leaning against the base of the tree, reading a book. Looking up at us, he said nothing and pointed at the chainsaw next to him. Lightly charging an old toy car, I tossed it out the window where it landed beside Henri, who rolled out of the way as Lapin and I climbed out of the tree, Lapin holding a still sleeping Jamie under one arm.

"Y'little shit!" Henri lunged at me as I rolled out of the way, suddenly pinned to the ground by my own brother.

"Frere?" I asked him calmly, as my cheek was pushed down to the ground. "Why y'beatin' up on y'petite frere?"

"'Cause y'fucken crazy." Her twisted my arm and turned his head when Jamie sneezed and began coughing, and duplicating. "What da matter wit petite?" He asked, showing less interest in beating on me.

Jaime whined and rubbed his throat as Lapin answered his question. "We took da petite t'Bourbon and he got sick."

Henri laughed and stood up. "Take da petite to Tante. I don't gotta do not'in t'ya 'cause Tante's gonna hurt y'both f'getting' Jamie sick."

Awhile later, Lapin and I were yet again, scolded heavily and slapped repeatedly by Tante. "Y' kept da petite out and now he's sick!" We went upstairs to find Papa settling Jamie into my bed, clearly enjoying Jamie in subdued form. Under all the mischief, Jamie could be really sweet. But there's a lot of that mischief in between "devil" and "adorable little boy."

"How y'feelin, Petite?" I heard Papa ask him.

He whined. "I got a splitting headache, and I keep splitting." A slight grin crossed his lips. "Just a little cold, sir." I walked in and sat on the other side of him, rubbing his hair all over as he glared at me. "This is your fault, Remy. You should have known I don't have any immunity to swamp illness!"

Lapin came in and plopped down on the bed next to him. "What we gonna do wit' him?" He asked, looking up at me.

"Nothing, go out with those girls and leave me alone!" His hoarse little growl made us all laugh as he put a pillow over his head. Papa looked over at us as Lapin and I looked at each other.

"Y'get dere number?" He asked me. Then I realized neither of us had asked.

Jaime coughed and pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and handed it to Lapin. "You guys are idiots." He said, rolling over and closing his eyes.

Papa laughed again. "Y'took petite out on a date wit ya?"

"Oui, Papa." I said. "Petite picked out da girls f'us. Got good taste."

At about five in the afternoon, Jamie called me on my cell and barked. "I have mono!"

"Da kissin' disease?" I asked, slightly confused.

"Yeah, asshole." His hoarse little voice sounded cute saying it. "Rahne did it!"

"What?" I laughed. "Rahne is 10, yo'eight. Int' da older femmes, Jamie?" He growled as I laughed at him. "Non? No worries, petite, Remy had it, it not s'bad."

After we got home, Tante made us sit down as we got chided AGAIN. "Tante got no doubt y'made dat boy into a crazed girl chaser!" I rolled my eyes and grabbed the back of my head, anticipating the slap.

"Non," I tried to defend myself, "he already like dat when Remy found 'im. Dat's why Remy like him." I smirked. "Rahne's a belle petite, Remy proud o'Jamie f'kissin' her." Tante gave me a look that easily could have burned a whole through my entire body and then walked back to the kitchen as Lapin and I charged upstairs to see Jamie and hear exactly how Rahne ended up kissing him.

"So, Jamie, tell Lapin 'bout dis femme." Lapin said, as we laid down on each side of him. "Belle?"

"I guess. Her hair is pretty, her face is kinda 'meh'." We both laughed as he calmly continued. "She has long legs, and wear shorts a lot. I like that. Rahne is also the only girl in her class that requires a training bra…"

He was cut off by roars of crude laughter from Lapin and I. I had no idea whatsoever my sweet little Jamie was beginning to turn into a perve. "So, Petite, tell y'friends 'bout da kiss?"

"Da?" He said, mocking me. "What makes you think it was just one?" He smiled and his little cheeks turned a strange shade of red. "I found her sitting outside crying. So I sat next to her while she whined about something. I don't remember what it was. I just remember that I needed to stay there because she started to lean on me."

Lapin looked at me. "Remy, did y'teach him dis?" I shook my head as he continued.

"She was really sad, I remember that. It started raining then, really hard, and somehow she managed to steal my whole hand when I wasn't paying attention, which was the whole time." He coughed again. "Then she turned around and kissed me. I kissed her back after awhile. I liked that."

"She ya fille?" Lapin asked.

"No."

"Why da hell not?"

"Because I don't want one. Jamie does not commit." Lapin rolled off the bed laughing as Jamie explained to us that he liked to kiss her, but not listen to her talk. Just for fun, I took out my phone and called the mansion.

"Xavier Institute, Logan speaking."

"Non, Logan growlin'. Ya gonna scare people away if y'answer da phone like dat."

"Gumbo, what d'ya want?"

"To hear y'soothin' voice, Wolfie." I could tell he was bored from the tone he had.

"Adamantium is a soothing substance."

"Oui? Remy pass on dat one." I said, chuckling. "Y'heard anyt'ing from Rahne?"

"Yeah she got…" He stopped short and started laughing. "Jamie?"

"Oui. Petite gets 'round more dan Remy t'ought." Logan was still chuckling.

"Put him on the phone, Gumbo." Instead of putting him on, I put the speakerphone on.

"Jamie! She's in the fifth grade, what on earth are you gonna do when she goes to middle school?" Logan said, snickering.

"Will she still sleep two doors down from me?" Jamie buried himself under the pillows. "No other boys are sick, right?"

Lapin laughed. "Y'jealous?" Jamie slapped him on the arm and waited for Logan to answer.

"Well, there is this boy at her school where she got it…" Jamie suddenly looked heartbroken and whined. "Just kiddin' Jamie. She got it from sharing a soda with Kitty." Jamie smiled.

"That wasn't funny, Wolfie." He said.

"Hey, after all the bullshit, I deserve to get back at you eventually." Logan said.

"Remy t'inks y'were jokin' 'bout Kitty, right?" I hoped he was kidding. Because, my tongue was not long removed from that pouty little mouth of hers.

"No," Wolverine said, then started laughing again. "You boys are such morons." Logan hung up the phone.

After briefly explaining to Jamie that he couldn't be jealous AND detached at the same time, he went to sleep, apparently exhausted. Hoping I wouldn't get sick, but knowing I had a pretty good chance, Lapin and I went out and partied pretty hard that night.


	6. Day Five, Wasted Day

Disclaimer: I do not own Marvel.

If you comment on my work, I'll comment on yours and add you to my favorites.

Firefly25 – Muchas Gracias! I was considering making a sequel after this one is done.

Lamby – Remy could 'babysit' me anyway. wiggles eyebrows. Don't worry, I don't mind company…heh.

Dru – Yeah, yeah, yeah, good thing this is fanfiction and not the real thing, eh?

Marcus – Yay! I liked your story. You rock…and thanks for commenting!

**Day Five – Wednesday**

"GET UP!" I looked up. Too bright! Jamie's hoarse voice called again. "We gotta get outta here before Tante comes up!" My Jamie? Scheming an escape attempt from Tante? I felt my lips curl into a smile as the little boy continued to shake me.

"One more hour!" I growled. It was too early for me, and my hangover was just making the light seem more bright and painful.

"Get up, you lazy drunk! You can sleep it off at Lapin's house!" I chuckled and opened my eyes. He still looked sick, but was clearly ready to get out of the house, something that wouldn't happen if Tante was caring for him. I slowly got up out of bed and went down the hall to shower.

I took my clothes off and threw them on the floor, then got into the shower and turned the water on, flinching at how cold it is. "Merde!" I cursed loudly, only to hear my older brother yell through the door at me.

"Frere, da water's been cold every time y'turned it on for da past ten years!" I heard him laughing. "Tante jus' got here, she says y'better not take Jamie out today."

I rolled my eyes. Did anybody really expect me to obey? I reached over and squeezed some of Jamie's strange blue shower gel onto a rag and started washing myself, closing my eyes. Warmth. Yay! I opened my eyes to rinse it off and made the discovery that someone, probably my darling little Jamie, had taken time to put food dye of some sort into the shower gel. I emerged a few minutes later to see Jamie and Henri outside the door waiting. Henri high-fived the boy and chuckled.

"Vengeance is Remy's, Frere!" I said in my most chilling voice as I watched Jamie snap a picture of me, my skin dyed blue, wearing nothing but a towel, flipping him off. Hearing Tante coming up the stairs, Jamie quickly ran back to my room and opened the window, crawling out onto the roof. He'd been with us for five days and I already had him climbing roofs and evading my aunt; I was really proud of myself. Spread the madness? Hell yes. I quickly dressed and followed the boy out, making it to the ground as Tante flung my window opened and ordered us back inside. Of course, we just waved and ran as fast as possible into the swamp.

"Why'd y'let mon frere do dat to Remy?" I asked jokingly as we neared Lapin's house.

"Who said it was his idea?" Jamie devilish expression met mine as he sneezed and duplicated several times. Running as I chased after the one I thought to be his original. No such luck! As I caught up to the real Jamie Madrox, he was knocking on the door of Lapin's home, which was soon answered by Lapin's father, Jacques. Jamie looked up at him with his big blue eyes and did something Lapin and I could not figure out in our many years of crime – he charmed Lapin's Pere! Lapin had blue eyes, and I was the cute one, but for some reason, Jacques just rolled over when he stood there. Unfair? Yes.

"Can Lapin come out to play? Remy isn't being very nice!" I walked up behind him and realized I'd been defeated.

"Well, Petite, Remy here grew up a nickname dat means 'demon.' Behavin' not really Remy's t'ing." He chuckled and called Lapin down and the two of us ended up eating breakfast that Jacques just HAD to cook for a cute little boy like Jamie. After breakfast, Jamie and I made our way upstairs and slowly opened the door to Lapin's room. Instantly, I covered Jamie's eyes.

"Merde! Lapin!" I yelled at him, hoping it would wake at least one of the three people passed out in his bed. Of course, my immediate thought was 'Lapin is such a lucky bastard.'

"Put me down! Stop treating me like a baby!" Jamie said as I carried him under my arm to the game room and sat down, both of us waiting for Lapin to emerge, hopefully clothed. A few minutes later, he did, flopping down on the couch in his boxers, looking pretty rough. I took a cigarette out and put it between Lapin's lips, lighting it with my finger.

"Lapin! Did someone rough you up?" Jamie said, causing one side of Lapin's mouth to form a smile.

"Oui, Petite. But in a good way." Lapin replied, waiting for several minutes before Jamie's jaw dropped in realization. "Y'lookin' better, Jamie." Lapin's eyes slowly shifted sideways before he jumped. "Fuck!" He exclaimed, realizing my skin was bright blue. "What da fuck happened? Y'let Jamie trick into playin' wit jello?" I said nothing at Lapin slowly began to break out of his daze. "Henri got even den?"

I nodded. "Y'gonna sleep all day, non?"

"Lapin needs it. So tired. He come out t'play later." He got up and walked back to his room, cigarette still hanging out of his mouth, leaving Jamie and I.

I turned on the television, then muted it when I saw the look of disgust on Jamie's face. "What's wrong, y'feelin' sick?"

"No." He replied. "Isn't sex supposed to be fun?" I bit my lip in attempt not to laugh. "Because Lapin doesn't look like he had any fun."

I almost fell off the couch laughing. I swear, the kid was so damn smart for his age, but still a little naïve. "Remy t'inks Lapin had a little too much fun." I told him. "Sometimes, stuff is s'damn fun dat it hurt da next mornin'. Or, he jus' didn't get enough rest."

I ended up watching television most of the day while Jamie slept, still fighting his sickness, and Lapin slept off his threesome. Appreciating the time to relax, I drifted in and out during a Twilight Zone marathon, which I found to be quite appropriate.

Closer to sundown, both of my companions finally seemed ready to leave the house. We piled into Lapin's car and started driving to…well, we hadn't figured it out at that point.

"Where we goin'?" Lapin said, looking over at us.

"I don't know, but you better feed me soon or I'm going to duplicate and eat YOU." Jamie said, slightly annoyed. We pulled into a restaurant a few minutes later and attempted to introduce Jamie to Cajun food again, still aggravated by his initial rejection of it. An order of plan chicken tenders later, Jamie got up to go to the restroom and was carried back

I thought he'd gotten himself into some sort of trouble until I saw who was carrying him. Lapin and I froze, seeing our little friend – who I felt responsible for – being held, knife at his throat, by Julien Bordeaux, who I'd put into a coma months ago after a duel.

"Follow us. Walk in front. If y'move, Julien slit's dis little shit's t'roat." Lapin and I looked at each other and followed, to afraid to say anything. We both knew Julien would do it. As Julien lead us into an alley, a wet cloth over my face soaked in chloroform was immediately followed by my passing out.

Ha, Julien is such a dumb bastard. I kid you not, he went on to regret all of this.


	7. Day Six, Great Escape

Disclaimer: I do not own Marvel.

**Day Six – Thursday**

"Are you crazy?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because?"

"Because why?"

"BECAUSE I SAID SO!"

My eyes opened and I found myself tied up carefully so I couldn't touch anything. Lapin and Jamie were tied up as well, but Lapin appeared to be asleep while Jamie…Jamie had already worn Julien down with his line of questioning. I recognized it. Jamie was born with the need to annoy others when forced to sit still for long periods of time.

I shifted and Jamie looked over at me. Fear flickered in his eyes as he looked at me for guidance. "Jaime…non." I said. Jamie became silent as Julien punched Lapin.

Lapin growled. "Mornin' asshole." He said to Julien, licking his bloody lips. "Whatcha want? Why y'keepin da petite here?"

"Cause he's an asshole, like you said." Jaime interjected. Julien turned around and grabbed Jamie's face.

"Listen, y'little shit. Don' know who y'are, don' care. But y'better watch y'goddamned tongue and I might let ya see y'fucken' parents again." Julien threatened.

"I doubt it." Jamie said coldly. "They're dead and you're stupid. I see two problems there."

"Yeah? What makes me s'damned stupid?" Julien said.

Jamie indignantly rolled his eyes. "It's a secret."

"A secret? What da fuck?" Julien looked over at me and threw a knife down on the table, sticking it into the wood.

"I'll whisper it to you." Jamie said as Julien leaned in. I didn't know what he whispered at the time, and I didn't think it mattered, because while Julien was distracted, a Jamie clone walked in and replaced the knife on the table with a roll of toilet paper, then disappeared. Yes, a roll of toilet paper. Then it occurred to me that Jamie wasn't scared; he was playing with Julien, and enjoying it.

"WHAT?" Julien yelled and reached for the knife. He rolled over from his kneeling position and held up the toilet paper.

Jamie smirked triumphantly. "I guess that's God's way of telling you to deal with your shit and leave us alone."

"What happened?" Julien demanded. "You must have seen it!" He turned to me, unaware that the missing knife was sitting behind me on the floor.

"What petite said." Lapin said. "What, y'don' believe in God? Y'done sent 'nough people t'meet him, y'fucken' assassin!" Julien cursed and looked at me.

"Lapin's right, mon ami, da Big Man hisself come down here t'stop y'from cuttin' up da petite." I said, smiling innocently at my captor.

Julien leaned over and got in my face. "He tell y'he don take muties?"

_Click_

Julien toppled over onto his side, his hands cuffed in a pair of metal cuffs. I looked up at the Jamie clone and finished cutting my bonds, then I charged the real Jamie and Lapin's ropes. "You guys aren't going to believe this!" Jamie said, leading us down the hall through what appeared to be Julien's apartment into a bedroom. "This guy is sick!"

I covered Julien's eyes quickly, then put my hand down, realizing that he'd gotten the handcuffs from the room and already knew what was in it.

Ah, Julien's room. One of my more disturbing memories. Lapin paled when he saw the porn covering the floor; this wasn't just any porn, it was gay porn. Gay bondage porn. And the handcuffs? A mere accessory in Julien's large collection of metal and leather contraptions. "Mon dieu!" I said, walking out quickly. We went back to the room where we'd been tied up and I leaned on the doorway as Julien attempted to wrestle the cuffs off.

"'Ello, Julien." I said. "Did havin' us good-lookin' men all tied up like dat turn y'on?"

Priceless moment, really. The look on his face when he realized that I, Remy Lebeau, his rival, his enemy, knew about his sexual deviance. I can assure you that every drop of blood left his face; Sinister himself has more coloring than Julien did right at that moment. Lapin stuck his head in. "We may be a couple o'good lookin' hommes, but we like da femmes. And Jamie…he's a petite! Shame on y'Julien!"

"If Remy knew y'hostility 'bout me bein' wit ya bitch souer was jus' cause y'wanted Remy t'yo'self, he'd have killed yo'sick ass." I said as we started to leave.

"Remy." I turned to look at Julien. "Don' tell nobody." He was clearly desperate to keep his secret. Being 'on top' of the situation, I decided to toy with him.

"Why?" I asked.

"Cause Bella'll beat po'Julien. She ain' a nice girl." I chuckled at Julien and then punched him in the face as hard as I could, knocking him out. We'd keep his secret, because he was a pathetic creature. And his sister was scary. I'd know, I almost married her, but was thankfully saved by a duel to the death…yeah, I'd pick the duel over the marriage any day.

It did please me that big tough assassin Julien Bordeaux, the head of our rival Guild, was such a pathetic, twisted man under everything. It did not please me that I'd have to explain all of this to Jamie in as few words as possible. We left the apartment and walked out onto the street, hailing a cab to the restaurant to pick up Lapin's car.

…………………………………………………………………..

"Chile!" Tante grabbed and nearly crushed Jamie to death, taking his temperature with her hand.

Yeah, she slapped the crap out of Lapin and I a few times within in the next hour. But she also baked a pecan pie, which was well worth the pain. "S'Tante, how y'been?" I said, spinning around in the swiveling barstool.

"Worried sick, 'bout the chile!" She replied.

"Not us?" Lapin said, feigning hurt.

"Non, y'been replaced." I turned to see my older brother. "Y'seen da way Tante looks at Jamie. She don' need ya no more." Henri smiled as if enjoying the moment. And then he got his revenge. "Petite's sleepin', had some questions 'bout some of da stuff ya'll saw at Julien's."

Lapin and I looked at each other in totally dread, then pleadingly at Henri, who just smiled wider.

"How is it dat y'managed to expose da petite t'gay porn?"

He barely had it out of his mouth when the back door slammed, Lapin and I making a quick escape into the yard.

Tante wasn't even a little impressed. "REMY y'get yo'sorry ass back in dis house, right now!"

"Non, Tante. Remy want to live!" I said, almost making a clean escape. You know, until my Papa grabbed me and dragged us back into the house.

…………………………………………………………………………

"Julien kidnapped y'?" Papa asked Lapin and I.

"Oui. Jamie busted us out." I smiled at the corruption I'd spread to little Jamie. Papa seemed a little less amused that we'd involved our young guest in Guild tension, or that he'd had a knife to his throat the day before. He eventually sent us upstairs and forbade us to leave the house.

"What? He can't do that! We're leaving tomorrow! I need to have more fun!" Jamie said when we broke the news to him. "Do you know how boring the mansion is going to seem after this week?"

Lapin clearly commiserated with the boy, and went to the closet. "Lapin' ain' gonna be dere wit ya, but he can help y' by teachin' ya." He walked to my closet and took out a box I hadn't seen in years. pouring the box out on my bed, I watched the amazed expression on Jamie's face. "Y'ever picked a lock?"

Jamie shrugged. "Not really."

"Well, today's y'lucky day, petite." Lapin said, picking up one of the locks on the bed and putting it in Jamie's little hands. "Dis an art of da Guild. We gonna teach y' cause ya like da petite frere Remy never had."

Jamie looked at the lock with a look of complete wonder, taking in his lock picking lessons like some sort of religion. His wide little eyes made Lapin and I laugh as he slowly popped open the first lock. "Wow." He said, staring at it.

"It's like makin' love to a woman…" Lapin began, then ended his sentence, Jamie's mouth slightly opened.

"You're so weird." Jamie said, "But not as weird as that Julien guy." He sniffled, reminding us he was still a little sick, then laid back down on the bed. "Hey Remy?"

"Yeah, petite?" I answered him.

"Can we go play in the swamp? Like, camp there?" I laughed and nodded. It had been a long time since I had gone camping. Tante was going to kill us, but we were leaving the next morning, so if we played our cards just right, she wouldn't have the chance.

Three hours later, Lapin, Jamie, and I were sitting on a dry spot of the massive swamp around a fire, roasting marshmallows. "Thanks, Remy." Jamie said to me.

"For what, Petite?" I replied.

"Saving me from Scott, and bringing me along. This week has been so much fun." He said, almost sad.

"Remy don' wanna go back t'New York, but we gotta." Jamie shrugged and started to cry. I was shocked. My little Jamie! "What's da matter, Petite?"

"I miss my family." He said, sniffling. "I should be home with them, helping my dad with the farm or something. All the fun in the world doesn't make them less dead!"

Lapin put the fire out. "C'mon, Petite, we're goin' t'do one more t'ing tonight." He lead us through the dark swamp for almost an hour to the edge, where we saw a barn. "Lapin slept a hangover off in dis barn. He t'inks y'might like it." He flopped down in a big pile of clean hay and put his hands behind his head, watching Jamie with interest. He smiled and jumped on Lapin, hugging him like a real eight-year-old might.

"The smell of hay reminds me of home." He said. "Thanks, Lapin." He said, climbing off the pile to the corner, where a goat and her kid were sleeping somewhat peacefully. "Watch this." Jamie took the cigarettes out of my pocket, dumped them out, then held out the cardboard box to the mama goat, who ate it, much to our surprise. "Goats will eat anything!" The goat stood up and began to follow Jamie around as Lapin and I offered it miscellaneous things to eat (some paper, our marshmallows, a bit of the hay, and some cobwebs). What she really wanted were the buttons off my coat, though. Crazy animal.

Anyway, that night Jamie talked a lot about his family. Lapin and I talked about ours too, and by the time we fell asleep, Jamie was snoring louder than hell.


	8. Day Seven, Homecoming

Disclaimer: I do not own Marvel.

**Day Seven – Friday**

Lapin nudged me out of my slumber and covered my mouth, pointing to the other side of the hay pile, where Jamie was sleeping next to the baby goat. Being a man and all, I'm not going to say it. But, if I was a woman, I would have said "AWWWW….how cute." Please respect my testosterone.

We woke him up and trudged back through the swamp to get ready for our flight. Jamie was noticeably dragging his feet, as if every step was a step closer to Scott Summers, the Institute, and the chilly New York spring. "Remy, I don't wanna go!"

"Sorry, Petite, y'gotta." Lapin said to him as I returned from a shower, rubbing his hair. "Now, y'better go take a shower cause y'smell like a farm animal."

"BAAAA!" Jamie said, imitating a goat as he ran down the hall, past my Papa and Henri, who looked at Lapin and I with the strangest expression you can imagine for a few minutes, then walked downstairs.

Lapin and I flopped down on my bed. "Did da petite wear you out too?" Lapin said.

"Oui. Can' admit it t'him, but damn…" I sighed and closed my eyes. I guess I went to sleep for a minute or something. Because, when I opened my eyes, they felt somehow heavier than before. I attributed it to exhaustion and threw the rest of my stuff in my backpack. After we were all packed up, we went downstairs to the kitchen, where the rest of the family was. Tante was about to resume slapping Lapin and I, then realized that I was about to leave again for several months and hugged me, kissing me several times. Jamie laughed at me, then stopped abruptly when the same thing happened to him.

Henri bent down to Jamie. "Y'better come back, y'hear?" Jamie hugged him and then my Papa, and many long goodbyes were exchanged. Lapin said he'd drive us to the airport, so we piled into his car and Jamie came up with a great idea.

"Hey, Lapin, you should pretend you're a mutant and come live with us!" He said.

"Da Professor might notice." I said back to him.

"I heard him tell Storm once that he couldn't tell that you were a mutant and he can't read your mind." Jamie! My Jamie! Spying on the Professor himself. Marvelous, really.

"What would m'powers be?" Lapin asked, considering the idea carefully.

"Annoyin' people.' I said, getting scowls from both. "Dis plan never gonna work, and Prof'll kick us all out."

Jamie sighed as we got out of the car and told Lapin goodbye.

"Hey Remy?" Jamie asked as we walked toward the gate.

"Oui?"

"You're the best." He said, "so you can have the window seat."

I could practically hear the gears turning in his evil little mind.

We sat down and settled in to our seats, Jamie pretending to behave as everyone boarded the plane. We hadn't been in the air five minutes when a man tripped and fell right next to our seats. I glared at Jamie, who smiled innocently at him as he screamed. I looked down to see a clone on the floor near my feet, making faces at the man as he laid on the floor. Then, it disappeared into Jamie.

"Sir, do you need help?" Jamie asked.

"Get away from me!" The man yelled as he stood up and literally ran back to his seat.

An older woman in the row behind us leaned forward and stood up, looking over the seat at me. "You need to keep your brother in line."

"Non." I replied. "Y'need t'sit in y'chair, cause we're both mutants and mon power is meltin' nosy ol' ladies."

She frowned at me and put on her hands on her chest. "Why I never!"

"No freakin' duh. If you did, you wouldn't be so cranky." Jamie said to her. "Crazy old bat."

"You little devils…" She said, clearly appalled by Jamie's attitude.

"Funny you should mention that," Jamie said, pulling off my sunglasses. Generally, I wouldn't have encouraged this, but geeze…there are so few perfect moments, so I opened my eyes and laughed when she screamed. Of course, the flight attendant came by to settle us down and failed miserably, met by my mutant hypnosis and Jamie's more powerful baby blue eyes.

"Alright, boys, you better be on your best behavior, okay?" She leaned down and smiled at Jamie. That little jerk.

"I'm sorry," he said. "She said that she wanted to handcuff me to her bed!" The woman looked totally shocked. Playing it up, I wrapped my arms around Jamie.

"Mon dieu! Where'd y'get dat idea?" Jamie blinked and faked a tear as I looked up at the attractive flight attendant, whose nametag said "Bunnie."

"That mean old lady wants to hurt me!" Jamie said again, the old hag finally standing up and protesting.

"I said no such thing!" She declared as I looked up angrily at her.

"Where'd mon frere learn 'bout somet'ing like dat wit'out y'tellin' him?" I said, biting my mouth to stifle the laughter that wanted to erupt so badly.

Bunnie looked horrified. "Ma'am, I'm afraid you're going to have to move to a different seat."

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Bunnie and I ended up having sex in the airport bathroom, which was a new experience for me. It was enjoyable. But, the flight ended, much to my relief, because one of the other attendants threatened to kick Jamie out of the plane mid-flight if he didn't stop scaring and bothering the hell out of the other passengers. I was proud of him, deep down in my heart. We were standing on the curb when I remembered something.

"Eh, Petite? What'd y'whisper in Julien's ear?" I asked.

"I can't tell." He said, smirking.

I pouted at him. "Remy keep his mouth shut 'bout all da trouble y'caused dis week if y'tell him."

"Fine, jerk." He said. "I said his sister was a whore, because he complained about it while you and Lapin were still asleep."

"Mon dieu, y'know why dat was so bad? Ott'er dan da fact y'shouldn't call a femme a whore." I said. He shook his head. "Remy almos' married his sister, 'cept he stopped da weddin' and started a fight. Remy nearly killed him."

Jamie was quiet and then started laughing. Not at the situation, but at me. "You're an idiot, Remy."

We put our stuff in Scott's car and got in, Jamie looking very depressed.

"Hey, Jamie, what's wrong? Are you okay?" Scott asked him.

"I was, until you showed up." Jamie said back, slumping over in the backseat as Scott gave me a pretty dirty look, as if I'd poisoned Jamie against him.

We went home, watched television, and went to bed. I thought it was all over – I swear, what happened on Saturday was so not my idea.


	9. Day Eight, The Disaster

Disclaimer: I do not own Marvel.

**Day Eight – Saturday**

Jamie and the other kids were watching cartoons when Scott came in and picked him up, carrying him up to my room without so much as saying a word. He kicked open the door and started making noise, waking me up and scaring the hell out of Jamie.

"I can be fun!" He said. "I can break the rules!"

"What da hell?" I asked groggily.

"Everyone hates me and thinks I don't know how to have fun. Well I do. We're going to break into the school today." He said. I swear, I thought I was about to piss on myself from laughing so hard. He is the team leader though and I wasn't about to say no.

Wait, that's a lie. I just thought it would be fun. And Jamie, he's up for anything. I love that kid.

So, we got dressed and snuck out of the mansion, Scott watching my sneaky moves as we dodged the security system. Scott had already parked his car a couple of blocks away, something that surprised me. I wasn't aware he had the balls for such a stunt. We parked two blocks away from the school and snuck in near the gym. Jamie smirked as he picked his first real lock, the three of us walking into the dark gym and turning on the lights. The floor was being replaced, and there were several jars of the sealant around, stinking the room up fairly badly. We ran across the floor quickly and went into the rest of the school.

We were walking down the hall when Scott stopped. "This is Pietro's locker." He gave a sour look. "Blow the lock."

I charged the lock and we back up as it was blown into the wall opposite the locker. Scott began to snoop through Pietro's things. "I knew it! He's such a cheater. Cheat this, Pietro." Scott took his sunglasses off and blasted the locker to kingdom come.

"Hostile, mon ami?" I asked him.

"Yes. Now let's find Fred's locker. That tub of fat was mean to Jeannie!" He said, with anger that surprised even Jamie. "I think this is it." He said.

"Non, dis be Kitty-kat's locker." I said as he went to the next locker. "Blow this lock, Remy." I nodded and did as he asked, only to find we'd blown the wrong locker open. One hour and over 140 lockers later, we finally found Fred's locker. Except, we didn't notice that it was across from a window, so when I charged the lock, it shattered the window. Jamie looked at me fearfully, but no alarm went off, so we went back to what we'd been doing.

"Let's go trash Kelly's office," Scott said.

I had no idea Scott could be such a rebel. It was just so shocking to see him in destructive mode. And so, so, so funny. We followed him down the hall to Kelly's office and watched as he roughly ripped a drawer out of the cabinet and pulled out his file. He read it out loud before incinerating it.

"Scott Summers – leader of a mutant faction, possibly ADHD." He laughed. "Possibly pissed off." The file burned as he dropped it.

And then we heard police sirens. We ran full speed through the school, I was carrying Jamie and Scott was cursing up a storm. I really like Bad Boy Scott. He slipped on the broken glass and cut one of his hands, so I stopped and pulled him up, quickly resuming our sprint to freedom. We made it all the way to the back door of the gym when three police officers met us in the doorway. Scott was looking over his shoulder and didn't see them, so he ran right into one of them. His sunglasses were knocked off and a single blast escaped from his eyes as he stumbled back.

The blast went right into the flammable cans of lacquer, which exploded and quickly spread fire to the rest of the gym. By the time I realized what was going on again, we were handcuffed.


	10. Conclusion

Disclaimer: I do not own Marvel.

**Conclusion**

We burned down the school. So what?

It was all Scott's idea. Sometimes, I think that there's a possibility he did all this just to get me in trouble, knowing that no one could possibly believe that Scott would burn down the school. I stand by my story. I hope all is well at the mansion and with the X-Men, we're doing quite well here. The other kids learned really quick not to screw around with us, especially Jamie. Really, I think it's fairly amusing that I'm one of the world's greatest thieves and ended up in jail after a single day of fun with Scott Summers.

We get out in a week now; we're pretty anxious, especially Scott, who is too pretty for some of the boys that have been here longer. I got out of my duties as man bitch because I told everyone that I was the son of Satan. Sucks to be Scott though. And Jamie, I think Jamie is running Twinkies under the table. The guards haven't quite figured out his mutant powers, so the kids here all get a decent laugh out of multiple Jamies running all over the place.

Juvenile Delinquent Block 3A salutes you, X-Men. You better be ready for us when we get out of here!

Yours Truly,

Remy Lebeau

**The End.**

**Fact: Less than 1/300 people who read this story leave a comment. Is it that bad?**


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